a slim and athletic
Not all parents, influencing children, bring them up. To educate is to instill useful skills that transform a child into a person. To educate, you need to be in a reasonable and conscious state, but how often do we stay in this state? To be honest, most parents will answer: “No!”. When parents, that is, just young people and girls, live in their usual way, that is, without thinking, being in an unconscious state, they do not
raise children, they just live next to them and just somehow relate to them. How? Differently…
A large number of parents gave birth, because “it happened”, and now they are raising, because “where are you going to go, it still yells,” and “so that I have less trouble, I will have to educate him.” Most parents raise children so that they are less bothered in life. They do not like children, they want less trouble for themselves, they take care of themselves and this is not upbringing, this is protection from children. Continue reading
Women practice only persuasion and, to the last, avoid formulating a clear and precise requirement. Even if she dictate the text of the demand, only unhappy eyes can be seen in response, followed by a refusal: “No, I can’t say that!” Once, in the company of young mothers, I asked to play a situation when my daughter did not get up in the morning, and specifically asked to speak with her harder, demanding … Here is a recording of a conversation where one mother played her daughter and the other raised her:- How hard it is to wake up in the morning, how hard it is! Well, I’d sleep for at least 10 more minutes!
– Lena, rise!
– Well, another 5 minutes! Let’s count to five and I’ll get up.
– Rise! The handle rises, the leg rises.
– It’s so cool here … No legs, I’m already cold … I’ll hide again now, and then I will get up.
– Very cool. I’ll hide again and then get up. Continue reading
There are four main types:
impressionable, sensitive nature;
sane, compulsory child;
emotional adventurous type;
wise guy strategically planning his actions
Each type in itself is logical and is a completely normal phenomenon. School psychologist Kristina Kanial-Urban developed this children’s typology through her many years of practice.
It should be borne in mind that in their pure form, these types practically do not occur. Sometimes these are mixed forms (in particular, sensitive nature and compulsory child), but usually there is a noticeable predominance of one of the types. It is worth figuring out which group their own child belongs to.
This will help to better assess your child, his abilities, his weaknesses and take them into account more sensitively.
For a child, the worst thing is if his upbringing is contrary to the type of his personality, because he thereby receives a message: that you are like that is not normal. This confuses the child and can even lead to illness. Parenting in accordance with the type of personality, on the contrary, will help the child develop optimally, strengthen his strengths, and gain a sense of confidence and security. This is especially important when large and small crises arise: problems with friends, at school, separation from parents, loss of a loved one.
We describe four types of personality in their main manifestations and indicate how best to deal with a child of the corresponding type.
What is typical
This is an outgoing child, sensitive, with developed intuition. He needs intimacy with other people, with family, with peers. He wants to communicate closely with them, take care of others, give them gifts. And know more about them. What kind of woman was my great-grandmother? How did my grandfather live when he was a little boy?
Children of this type are fascinated by fairy tales and various stories, so they are wonderful listeners and good storytellers. Usually they begin to speak early, very capable of teaching foreign languages. In role-playing games, they are completely immersed in their role. The same applies to the fantasy world. You should not leave them alone on the TV: they are so identified with the characters that in the dramatic moments of the action they need support. Children of this type really want to be loved and appreciated, they constantly need confirmation that they are something special, valuable.
When it gets hard
For sensitive nature it is difficult to draw a line between I and YOU. They are “merging”, literally flowing into a loved one. This exposes them to the danger of abandoning their own Self and completely dissolving into the personality of another – because they consider good what they consider good as their loved one. Because of this, they easily forget about their own needs. In families that attach great importance to sports and other active activities, a child belonging to the type of sensitive nature often feels helpless. In this case, he needs a like-minded adult who shares his inclinations.
How does he react to trouble
He seeks closeness with others even more than usual, literally clings to them. Some react with emotional explosions, cry and sob. Others go into themselves, suffer in silence. Many are even more immersed in the world of their fantasies.
The right parenting style
On weekdays and in crises: sensitive nature needs a person (one of the parents, grandfather or grandmother) who would give space and food to his imagination, his characteristic qualities. I would tell him fairy tales, draw, and devote to the history of the family.
Such a child needs recognition of his talents, his aesthetic flair (beautiful clothes!) And time for dreams. To ridicule a dreamer means to inflict a deep resentment on him.
Typically, these children feel good in schools that pay special attention to the development of students’ creative abilities. They need comfort, confidence and as close proximity as possible. Especially in crisis situations.
If this increased need for intimacy is not satisfied, the crisis intensifies. Sensitive individual praise is also important (“How wonderful you did it!”). Stories about resolving any problems in which a child of the same age copes with a similar difficulty also help.
What is typical
He often does not have enough time, because the world is so exciting, full of adventure, tests of courage. Adventurous children need activity – almost around the clock.