Smart family

I don’t want to punish. What could be instead of punishment?
Normal parents do not like to punish their own children. Somehow stupid: I dreamed about children, I wanted to love, but here I just do what I swear and punish.…

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The ban on gadgets. How are you doing?
When Steve Jobs was still alive and led Apple, he forbade his children to work too long for the iPad. Why? The New York Times journalist Nick Bilton, during one…

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The ban on gadgets. How are you doing?
When Steve Jobs was still alive and led Apple, he forbade his children to work too long for the iPad. Why? The New York Times journalist Nick Bilton, during one…

Continue reading →

Typology of the personality of the child

 

 Each child is unique, each different from the others. Nevertheless, some children are much more alike than others. They prefer the same games, they have similar hobbies, a similar attitude to order, sports, homework, they react approximately equally to stress, joy or quarrel. The fact that children have a similar or very different type of behavior does not depend on age or degree of relationship, but on the type of person.

There are four main types:

impressionable, sensitive nature;
sane, compulsory child;
emotional adventurous type;
wise guy strategically planning his actions
Each type in itself is logical and is a completely normal phenomenon. School psychologist Kristina Kanial-Urban developed this children’s typology through her many years of practice.

It should be borne in mind that in their pure form, these types practically do not occur. Sometimes these are mixed forms (in particular, sensitive nature and compulsory child), but usually there is a noticeable predominance of one of the types. It is worth figuring out which group their own child belongs to.

This will help to better assess your child, his abilities, his weaknesses and take them into account more sensitively.

For a child, the worst thing is if his upbringing is contrary to the type of his personality, because he thereby receives a message: that you are like that is not normal. This confuses the child and can even lead to illness. Parenting in accordance with the type of personality, on the contrary, will help the child develop optimally, strengthen his strengths, and gain a sense of confidence and security. This is especially important when large and small crises arise: problems with friends, at school, separation from parents, loss of a loved one.

We describe four types of personality in their main manifestations and indicate how best to deal with a child of the corresponding type.

Sensitive nature
What is typical

This is an outgoing child, sensitive, with developed intuition. He needs intimacy with other people, with family, with peers. He wants to communicate closely with them, take care of others, give them gifts. And know more about them. What kind of woman was my great-grandmother? How did my grandfather live when he was a little boy?

Children of this type are fascinated by fairy tales and various stories, so they are wonderful listeners and good storytellers. Usually they begin to speak early, very capable of teaching foreign languages. In role-playing games, they are completely immersed in their role. The same applies to the fantasy world. You should not leave them alone on the TV: they are so identified with the characters that in the dramatic moments of the action they need support. Children of this type really want to be loved and appreciated, they constantly need confirmation that they are something special, valuable.

When it gets hard
For sensitive nature it is difficult to draw a line between I and YOU. They are “merging”, literally flowing into a loved one. This exposes them to the danger of abandoning their own Self and completely dissolving into the personality of another – because they consider good what they consider good as their loved one. Because of this, they easily forget about their own needs. In families that attach great importance to sports and other active activities, a child belonging to the type of sensitive nature often feels helpless. In this case, he needs a like-minded adult who shares his inclinations.

How does he react to trouble
He seeks closeness with others even more than usual, literally clings to them. Some react with emotional explosions, cry and sob. Others go into themselves, suffer in silence. Many are even more immersed in the world of their fantasies.

The right parenting style
On weekdays and in crises: sensitive nature needs a person (one of the parents, grandfather or grandmother) who would give space and food to his imagination, his characteristic qualities. I would tell him fairy tales, draw, and devote to the history of the family.

Such a child needs recognition of his talents, his aesthetic flair (beautiful clothes!) And time for dreams. To ridicule a dreamer means to inflict a deep resentment on him.

Typically, these children feel good in schools that pay special attention to the development of students’ creative abilities. They need comfort, confidence and as close proximity as possible. Especially in crisis situations.

If this increased need for intimacy is not satisfied, the crisis intensifies. Sensitive individual praise is also important (“How wonderful you did it!”). Stories about resolving any problems in which a child of the same age copes with a similar difficulty also help.

Adventurous child
What is typical

He often does not have enough time, because the world is so exciting, full of adventure, tests of courage. Adventurous children need activity – almost around the clock.

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How to love your teenager

Foreword

This is a very serious book, but helping teenagers in the transitional period of their lives is also a serious and difficult task, especially in our time. In his book, the author considers the real difficulties that parents face today.

We, adults, were not taught to be parents, therefore, the upbringing of adolescents usually Continue reading

Fear of water, or How to not be afraid to swim

It is easiest for children to learn to swim when they play catch-up next to each other. Catching up on the water, when you need to swim away from the chase in any way – the game is quite aggressive, but it helps. When a child forgets about his fears, he simply floats. And then he discovers that he is swimming, and if he does not have the benefit of supporting his fear, he realizes that his fear is not terrible, and he knows how to swim well. Continue reading

Children’s tantrums: what to do with them?

Children sometimes throw tantrums: they fall to the floor, bang their hands and feet, destroy everything around. Where does this come from and what to do about it?

It is sometimes said that the hysteria of children is always a reaction to an adult, an answer to the fact that there is something terribly wrong in the relationship between an adult and a child. This is not entirely true, it is some exaggeration of the role of an adult.
A child is a creature not only reacting, not responding to one or another, correct or not, adult behavior. Thank God, children are very active, leading their game and policies towards adults.  Continue reading

Spartan education

When there is a conversation about education, the famous catch phrase “Spartan education” is involuntarily recalled. What events is associated with this definition? Who needs Spartan education, and is it necessary for humanity in general in the modern world?

The phrase “education in Spartan” has deep roots. Sparta is an ancient Greek state in which, in fact, this phenomenon originated. In Ancient Sparta, the Continue reading

The baby is crying: is it always necessary to twitch it?
From the crying of a child, novice mothers, who have their first child, jerk and worry. The more experienced the mother, the more she fed the children, the calmer and…

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How to educate schoolchildren
- You are a psychologist with great experience. Both older people and children of the new Russia come to your consultation. Whom do modern Moscow schools bring up? - I…

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Raising a boy
Boys and girls are different initially. Since childhood, girls prefer to play with dolls, outfits and relationships, boys are more interested in cars, construct something and fight. You can, of…

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Interruption in communication with the child: a soothing timeout
Sometimes children do not obey us, and they have to be punished. A timeout is one of the humane options for punishment; in reality, it is interruption of contact with…

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