Children know everything, but do not. What to do?
This article is addressed to those parents who are not indifferent to their children and are thinking about how to properly educate them. Throughout my parenting experience (I have three…

Continue reading →

How to plan your day for a preschooler?
When the child is still small, we parents plan everything for him. We set tasks for him, suggest the steps to be taken, give instructions on how to do it…

Continue reading →

Children know everything, but do not. What to do?
This article is addressed to those parents who are not indifferent to their children and are thinking about how to properly educate them. Throughout my parenting experience (I have three…

Continue reading →

“Foal” and “Tighten”

I watched the picture: a boy of about 7-8 jumps into the pool on the heads of the passing ladies. Mom sits nearby and is very happy about this behavior of the child. First, the ladies express displeasure, barely having time to dodge the thirty-kilogram carcass. Mother is having fun. “The Onion Foal,” she explains the actions of the juvenile bully.

On the fifth or sixth jump with a “bomb”, a weighty kid still hits the target – as if with his feet in the
brain of a blond girl. The blonde went under water, but quickly surfaced and yelled at the entire pool. If you remove her obscene words, you would think that she did not say anything. I understand her emotions. Imagine a weight of 30 kilograms falling on your head.

The most intelligent person will quickly and briefly formulate his feelings if he comes up. The blonde was not the most intelligent person, so she grabbed the little scoundrel by the ear and pulled him out of the pool. The “Onion Foal” did not feel any guilt for itself, because mom did not forbid him to bomb blondes with knees on the head.

Two intellects met on the steps of the pool: a blonde bruised on the head and “numb”. The latter immediately rushed into the fray, because there is nothing to limit the rights of her child to stormy fun in the pool. “Foal” already knew how to behave properly: he screamed like he was cutting, showing that his knees hit his dull blond head painfully. “Touch” saved her child, pulling the injured blonde by the hair.

Running up the pool staff began to separate the fighting pack. There appeared the “Onzheotets”, judging by the belly – pregnant in the ninth month. He immediately realized that someone had to be punished. You can’t have a wife and a child, they are your own, you can be a blonde, but she’s very fragile, so he hit a pool employee who separated the fights. The entire pool was connected to the showdown, no one had beaten anyone, everyone shouted at one another.
And I remembered Africa.

I was somehow brought into one tribe on the border of Kenya and Tanzania, people there have not eaten each other for many years, probably thirty or forty, before that, anything had happened. But mortality is still high. When at night in the jungle everything champs and screams in terrible voices, it becomes clear that the strong eat the tasty. In nature, life is quite simple and understandable. People living there are part of nature, a tasty part. So think tigers, leopards, crocodiles – strong and hungry representatives of a strong part of nature.

I understood a simple truth, the children there do not need to explain anything for a long time, they understand everything the first time. If adults say – don’t jump into this river, there are crocodiles waiting for food, then no questions arise, no one will climb into the river. If a stupid child comes across, then it will be a dead child, without any tearful exclamations, “he does not understand!”, “He is a foal!”.

Yeah, go tell this to the crocodile.

I also remembered America. There, in many states, you can be prosecuted from 12-14 years. I went to prison, yes, they are. Some teachers hit the head with a hammer for a poor mark, some raped a classmate, someone was disturbed by a neighbor’s car, and a juvenile delinquent set fire to it. “They are children!” – this is how the liberal public will exclaim.

The teacher with a hole in his head, I think, will not say anything. I do not know what a twelve-year-old girl, raped by a black classmate, will say.

The backward country of America, as in Africa, if the “foal” didn’t understand something at once, it can easily go to jail or get a bullet in the forehead. So one twelve-year-old boy decided to play war and began to aim at the policeman from a toy gun. He was shot from a real gun on the spot. Who are the complaints? To the cop? No, he acted within the law.

If a child at the age of 12 did not understand that it is impossible to aim at the police, then it can be a good boy, but he can become dead. It’s just how life works: like in Africa.

Let’s go back to the pool. It is good that the blonde turned out to have a strong head, but another situation is quite real: from a knee hit on the back of her head, she could easily lose consciousness and drown. “The foal” is not to blame, “press”, most likely, would not have been prosecuted at all or would have escaped with conditional punishment.

And a person who sailed about his business and didn’t touch anyone would simply not be alive.

Is it right to protect your children? Yes, right. There is only one criterion: if the child’s behavior does not and cannot harm the health and life of other people, then his rights must be defended. Protect from those who take away toys, offends verbally or physically.
If the actions of the child, regardless of age, threaten (or can potentially threaten) the health or life of other people, then do not turn on the state “press” and protect your child.

His actions must be stopped, nipped. Otherwise, sooner or later, someone else will do it, and the big question is how and in what form.

How to teach children to respond to trouble in an adult way?
Unpleasant events also happen in children: they fell, lost, hurt, broke ... How important it is in such situations to timely translate the child’s behavior in a positive and constructive…

...

I'm not cruel, I take care of your son
A woman, 47 years old, married, lives with her husband. The main earner in the family is her. 2 years ago I bought an apartment in a mortgage, a year…

...

Is it possible to raise children without resorting to punishment?
Is it possible to raise children without resorting to punishment? Of course, it is possible, but this path is difficult, requiring experience, strength and endurance. It is definitely impossible to…

...

How to plan your day for a preschooler?
When the child is still small, we parents plan everything for him. We set tasks for him, suggest the steps to be taken, give instructions on how to do it…

...