Live with children or raise children?
Not all parents, influencing children, bring them up. To educate is to instill useful skills that transform a child into a person. To educate, you need to be in a reasonable and conscious state, but how often do we stay in this state? To be honest, most parents will answer: “No!”. When parents, that is, just young people and girls, live in their usual way, that is, without thinking, being in an unconscious state, they do not
raise children, they just live next to them and just somehow relate to them. How? Differently…
A large number of parents gave birth, because “it happened”, and now they are raising, because “where are you going to go, it still yells,” and “so that I have less trouble, I will have to educate him.” Most parents raise children so that they are less bothered in life. They do not like children, they want less trouble for themselves, they take care of themselves and this is not upbringing, this is protection from children.
However, a frequent situation is when the parents themselves are decent people, and categorically do not know how to raise children. If it’s about you, if you don’t know how to raise children, if everyone’s mood just worsens from your educational activities, leave this matter at least for now. You do not need to raise your children; instead, learn to live with them in friendship and cooperation. Most likely, in this case, your child will grow up to be a decent person anyway, and you will save the nerves of yourself and others.
However, there are quite worthy parents who themselves refuse to raise their children, adhering to the ideology “I do not raise my children, I live with them!” Here, for example, is the philosophy of one mother, expressing the position of many mothers: “I’m a mother of two children. By the age of 26, I understood for sure: the child is a person from the very first day of his life. From birth, the child feels both physical and mental (dis ) comfort. We, mothers and fathers, were not given to him to “educate him.” Sometimes the children themselves (re-) educate us. For our children, we are a mirror, a mirror of their feelings. It’s for parents (or primarily parents) ) it is given to teach children to understand and express their feelings, and this is so important for both an adult and a child – mark understanding yourself, know what you want, and ultimately – just for happiness! ”
If parents believe in a positive beginning for their children, this approach often suits them well. It should be noted that “Do not raise children, but simply live with them, live the soul of a child” – a predominantly female style of education, but today many fathers are beginning to adhere to this ideology.
The story of one dad:
“They say that an adult does not feel the need to play with a child. Rather, yes, but I would not speak for everyone: anything can happen. However, any person, an adult and a child, needs pleasure. If the child is not with me at the moment, Of all the possible options, I choose for myself such an activity that I enjoy more. You can also enjoy lying on the couch. If the child is with me, I enjoy playing with him. Why not? You probably already forgot, and I, for example, do it almost every day I’m playing various games with my son. We even make up our own. And not because I can’t “flush” his neighbor Misha so that my son can play “racing” on his computer, and I would hang on the SH. the process of playing with him is a pleasure, and if for some reason I don’t want to play when my son wants it, I say to him: “You know, son, I don’t want to play now.” And what do you think, he is he hysterical? No. He says, “I see, dad.” And for me it also means that he reckons with me.
Why am I not making it my goal to teach my son something? Because I am absolutely sure that he will learn everything. When he is with me, he will learn without any effort what I can do. My task is reduced only to safety training. I just show him where the sharp and cutting edges are, where are the dangerous liquids, where is the dangerous voltage, etc. And here is what I can allow you to call my goal. My goal is that everything my son does or is interested in with my participation is filled with a light energy of pleasure and joy. I do not want to poison him and my life with the negative energy of coercion and submission, hassle and stress when I achieve any of my goals. As Eckhart Tolle wrote: “Let’s say you are a businessman and in two years of hassle, stress and intense effort, you finally managed to create a product or service that sells well and makes money. Is it a success? In the usual sense, yes. In reality, you spent two years polluting both your body and the earth with negative energy, made yourself and others miserable, and also touched many other people whom you have never even met. The unconscious premise of all such actions is that success is an event from the field of the future, and that the end justifies the means.