Smart family rituals: what brings us together and strengthens our relationship
Contact between parents and children is a joy, convenience and a guarantee of preventing conflicts and misunderstandings. How to keep it from infancy for many years? Is it possible to maintain reliable contact between parents and children, even in difficult adolescence? In many families, the usual rituals that go through life all day long help: the Good Morning and Good Night ritual, the Cute Fingers ritual, and the 15 minutes before bedtime ritual.
A ritual is an action (a set of actions) that must be done because it just needs to be done – because everyone does it, because it is accepted here. Taking the oath – a ritual, a handshake – is also a ritual; to say hello, that is, to wish for health is also a familiar ritual to all.
What morning begins with and education
How difficult it is to put the children to bed, so it is difficult to raise them in the morning. But in our family this problem has been successfully solved, because the Morning Rising Ritual, composed by us and adapted to our values, is repeated every morning for a year …
The alarm sounds. I turn my head and my whole wife (sometimes gently, sometimes funny). Loudly and cheerfully inform everyone that a new good day has come (naturally, no one has yet woken up). I get up, turn on the music and go to the bath. I fill two buckets with cold water, turn on the warm water in the bathroom. I come back and start doing massage to Vanya, having organized the same voice between the beginners to wake up mom and Sasha. In five minutes the bathtub is filled, Vanya runs there himself, and Sasha likes to come there on my arms. Children are immersed in water, I – again in bed. Five minutes of morning bliss for everyone. But then the children begin to rage in the bath, I go there and take out the plug, the water drains, the children and I brush our teeth. The water drained, Shura crawls out of the bathtub onto the washing machine, Vanya includes a small warm shower and enjoys it. Question to Van, from which bucket he will be doused. He chooses (where smaller), the shower turns off, a bucket pours out onto him under the cheers of everyone, and he crawls out, having received a towel. Now Shura is warming in the shower, I rub my towel with Vanya, and he runs to his mother, who is still in bed … Shura must be warned that the shower turns off and the bucket is ready, then he is satisfied and jumps joyfully under the cold stream. I rub it with a towel, carry it to my mom and throw it off into a common pile. Now I bring dumbbells, weights and scatter everyone out of bed to exercise. Well, that’s all.
It seems to be nothing tricky, but everything is fine-tuned to each other and, most importantly, unlearned to the smallest detail.
The kids no longer ask why they should pour cold water in the morning: The ritual made this an axiom, on the basis of which all other problems are solved.
Today I do not want to get wet? – What a pity, because it’s not so pleasant to shower without mood!
Our orders work because they work every day – for years. An exceptionally useful thing is a cleverly created ritual that has turned time into an enduring tradition!
The best educator is not one who can say smart and kind things. The best educator is one who can create a smart and kind lifestyle. Words can be left out of the ears, and any lifestyle will cross over. Therefore, there are no upbringing problems for parents whose families have strong and intelligent traditions. Conversations about morality, of course, will also not be superfluous, but what can we say when all this is absorbed simply from the air – the air of family traditions?
Curious: not everyone understands what to say to each other in the morning, “Good morning!” – This is not just good feelings from the heart, it is a ritual. What seems normal in normal families (and what could be more natural than the morning greeting “Good morning!”?) Was once not so natural. Someone, some creative person, invented and introduced this ritual. Probably, it was artificial at first, and then it became familiar and natural. Thanks to this wise man!
So, the ritual consists in the fact that in the morning everyone with a warm smile says (they do not grunt, but warmly and with a smile) they say “Good morning” to each other and kiss (here differently – on the shoulder, on the cheek, on the lips). This is a format, that is, a mandatory requirement of a relationship. You may not be sleepy and offended, but you must say “Good morning!” In any case.