How to educate schoolchildren
– You are a psychologist with great experience. Both older people and children of the new Russia come to your consultation. Whom do modern Moscow schools bring up?
– I can’t talk about schools in general, but about classrooms – completely! I myself studied at a good school, and my children graduated from wonderful schools. In those years when I was a schoolboy, among the best were guys with a developed value sphere. Children knew what to live for, had ideals, they understood that life does not boil down to just eating, getting dressed, “starring”. We had a theater in our school, we read a lot, were proud that we knew poetry, literature. We respected developed people, we wanted to reach their level. Now there is more pathos, more cool, more games, entertainment, brightness. Nevertheless, now there are superbly educated children who have everything in order with their heads and values. Talk about which students were before and which now … do you need? It is important for normal parents what kind of children surround their child in this particular school, and if desired, this can be taken under control, changed, done.
– Many parents complain that the atmosphere in the classroom is difficult to change …
– The atmosphere is created by leaders. They say: the class is not the same. And you make that class! We decided that our daughters would not go to school in our area. My wife came there and asked: “Is it possible for my girls to study here?” They answered her: “Please work as a teacher in the preparatory group for a year, we will take them.” She agreed, got down to business, and after that she met the children, all the children recognized her, she was in the parent committee, gained authority. When parents take an active position, are familiar with teachers, with the director, know everyone with whom the children communicate, then they can and will determine the microclimate of the class. I came to school with great interest and pleasure, conducted psychological games and classes there. The children were fun, unexpected. If you teach your children not to lead mass culture, to be leaders, then your values, which, I hope, are shared by your children, become class values. The parent committee usually has wonderful people, and the teachers are usually very good, it’s not easy for them now, they need to be supported so that they understand that their work is appreciated. Make contacts. Take care not only of your child – think of all the children. Become the person you are listening to. And so many issues are being addressed. Then begins a much more fun, understandable, productive work.
– It’s nice to admire parents who can help children solve their problems in relationships with peers, it’s such a rarity!
– It seems that in the eighth grade my girls went to the winter camp, but with a delay. There, by that time, relations had already been more or less established, and they did not fall into the hierarchy to a worthy place. My daughter calls me with frustrated intonation: “Dad, stupid camp, I don’t like everything … Dad, can I somehow become a leader here?” I say: “Not a question.” In five minutes he told her the technology how to do it. Two days later, he called again: “Such a cool camp!” She mastered, made friends with the girls, everything is wonderful. When children know that father will help, teach, they will always be fine. Now the daughters have matured, they have wonderful friends, life is seething and happy. Observing children immediately understand what kind of relationship in the family, including in the homes of friends, classmates. They want to kiss dad there? What about mom? Do the children obey them? And how do parents say: how sensible or how stupid? Can they be trusted? And parents themselves achieved something in life, does anyone respect them? Children are not stupid, they see everything.
– There is a problem that worries, perhaps, all conscious parents. The number of cases when children spread bullying, beating and rape in a network is growing and growing. As a journalist, I have been to three prisons, including for minors. The head of the Mozhaisk colony, who had worked there for thirty years, said that now it’s just a shaft of crimes that have nothing to do with profit — cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Why are children now behaving this way?
“I can only think.” First: what horror-horror is for us, children who are not taught empathy are perceived as a game. Cruelty is our adult assessment. Who is indifferent to crying? Children. I am saying terrible things now, but from our point of view, the nightmare and violence for them are stills from the film.
– Beatings to the blood, to the half death, I believe, and children are perceived as something abnormal.
– This we are already reaching the final. But if you do not teach children human, leaving them without guidance, we can get the “Lord of the Flies” of Golding. Children love experiences. They are not afraid of pain, more precisely, the thirst for emotions and adventures is stronger than the fear of pain. Children who do not “steer” go to fights, to horror films, spinning around bad places. They do not think that if they risk their lives, they substitute loved ones, they are indifferent. Uneducated children do not think about parents, about the consequences, about society.