My kids on Forbes lists
Esther Wojicki (Woj) – a famous American teacher, deputy chairman of the Creative Commons advisory board, worked as a Google education consultant, and has been teaching journalism at a high school in Palo Alto for 36 years. Woj is also known as the most famous mother of Silicon Valley, who raised the three most successful women in the United States. The Wojdicki family is sometimes lovingly called the “royal authority of Silicon Valley.” Esther’s pioneering teacher development program, which Esther has created, is world famous and recognized by the Wallenberg Foundation as the most important in “improving teaching”.
I named my strategy TRICK (trick) – by the first letters of the keywords: Trust (trust), Respect (respect), Independence (independence), Collaboration (cooperation) and Kindness (kindness). In my opinion, these are fundamental things. Look at these five words (in the Russian translation, the Esther Wojdicki rule sounds like 5C: (self) trust, (self) respect, independence, cooperation and warmth. – Forbes Woman), they mean what you give independence for people, you encourage cooperation and treat them kindly. These items work in conjunction. There is no independence without respect, no trust without kindness.
That is, we add joint travels to the 5C rules. What else?
Ability to handle money. Teach this to children from infancy. Ask them to pay small bills, instruct them to find out prices in the store. Involve children in solving everyday problems. Encourage to ask questions! Call them when the air conditioner is not working or a faucet has flowed. Let them help you figure it out. It will be much easier for them in life if they know the algorithm of actions.
More planning. The easiest and most effective way. Now everyone has the Internet – so instruct the children to decide what your family will do on the weekend. Make a plan, calculate time and budget, think about where to eat, prepare interesting facts about the place where you decided to go. I gave the children a lot of homework assignments. Remove from the table, wash the dishes. I’m doing this all with my grandchildren. I have nine of them, and the tenth is about to be born. And, I emphasize, I instruct them to remove from the table much more often than in due time to children. After all, if you have someone who can do this for you (mom, dad, housekeeper), you lose your sense of responsibility. I even make them clean the toilet, honestly, why not? This is not easy, but they can do it.
Do you punish children when they do not fulfill your instructions?
My method of punishment is not to let them enjoy something that they want. And if someone is seriously guilty, I ask you to write about this essay. I brought this technique home from school. If one of my students is to blame, we analyze the situation, discuss, and they write an essay. This is a powerful way, because when you write about something, you are reflective. You ask yourself if I could have done otherwise. An essay helps to comprehend the situation and consolidate it in memory. I was looking for different ways. And this is the most effective. After the conversation, I leave the children in the room alone with me – to think and then write an essay. And if the child is small, then please draw a picture. In fact, when we punish a child, we want him to think that he offended someone, or upset, or created problems for his parents. So let’s go straight to this stage right now, omitting the punishment itself. Yes, there are uncontrollable children who are very difficult to control. But I think this is because adults have shown them many times that they are not going to listen to them. And in this case, you need to honestly say: I didn’t do it before, and you’re used to it, I don’t listen to you, I scream and punish, but I promise to try it differently.
Your relationship with your grandchildren. These are the children of the new generation, the digital generation, how do you bring them up? Are you trying to control gadgets?
My grandchildren are from 0 to 19 years old. And the appearance of the former was a real stress, we did not know what to do. But it turned out that the principle of cooperation helps a lot here. The situation with smartphones in the first place requires self-control and understanding when the time is right to use a mobile phone, and when not. And the children themselves came to the rescue, they generated ideas, they developed the rules. In fact, they themselves resolved this situation. And what I noticed, for example, last week at dinner (usually once a week we have dinner together): none of the grandchildren (and there were nine) got a phone, even when leaving the table, not like at the table. And after dinner, they all played a board game, again without gadgets. And these are technically very advanced children.
They are allowed to play computer games, but no more than two hours a day. Some play Minecraft, it is popular in our family. But more often they don’t even play games, but shoot videos or do something else interactive, where there is an element of learning. Seniors make films that we then watch with the whole family.