bones – found
When a child behaves badly, there is no task to punish him: there is a task to stop his problematic behavior (and in a good way, to attract him to something good, funny and useful). So, if the situation with the child is not yet completely running, then the simplest option is to warn the child that if he doesn’t stop the disgrace, he will be punished in a manner known to him. When the Continue reading
There are four main types:
impressionable, sensitive nature;
sane, compulsory child;
emotional adventurous type;
wise guy strategically planning his actions
Each type in itself is logical and is a completely normal phenomenon. School psychologist Kristina Kanial-Urban developed this children’s typology through her many years of practice.
It should be borne in mind that in their pure form, these types practically do not occur. Sometimes these are mixed forms (in particular, sensitive nature and compulsory child), but usually there is a noticeable predominance of one of the types. It is worth figuring out which group their own child belongs to.
This will help to better assess your child, his abilities, his weaknesses and take them into account more sensitively.
For a child, the worst thing is if his upbringing is contrary to the type of his personality, because he thereby receives a message: that you are like that is not normal. This confuses the child and can even lead to illness. Parenting in accordance with the type of personality, on the contrary, will help the child develop optimally, strengthen his strengths, and gain a sense of confidence and security. This is especially important when large and small crises arise: problems with friends, at school, separation from parents, loss of a loved one.
We describe four types of personality in their main manifestations and indicate how best to deal with a child of the corresponding type.
What is typical
This is an outgoing child, sensitive, with developed intuition. He needs intimacy with other people, with family, with peers. He wants to communicate closely with them, take care of others, give them gifts. And know more about them. What kind of woman was my great-grandmother? How did my grandfather live when he was a little boy?
Children of this type are fascinated by fairy tales and various stories, so they are wonderful listeners and good storytellers. Usually they begin to speak early, very capable of teaching foreign languages. In role-playing games, they are completely immersed in their role. The same applies to the fantasy world. You should not leave them alone on the TV: they are so identified with the characters that in the dramatic moments of the action they need support. Children of this type really want to be loved and appreciated, they constantly need confirmation that they are something special, valuable.
When it gets hard
For sensitive nature it is difficult to draw a line between I and YOU. They are “merging”, literally flowing into a loved one. This exposes them to the danger of abandoning their own Self and completely dissolving into the personality of another – because they consider good what they consider good as their loved one. Because of this, they easily forget about their own needs. In families that attach great importance to sports and other active activities, a child belonging to the type of sensitive nature often feels helpless. In this case, he needs a like-minded adult who shares his inclinations.
How does he react to trouble
He seeks closeness with others even more than usual, literally clings to them. Some react with emotional explosions, cry and sob. Others go into themselves, suffer in silence. Many are even more immersed in the world of their fantasies.
The right parenting style
On weekdays and in crises: sensitive nature needs a person (one of the parents, grandfather or grandmother) who would give space and food to his imagination, his characteristic qualities. I would tell him fairy tales, draw, and devote to the history of the family.
Such a child needs recognition of his talents, his aesthetic flair (beautiful clothes!) And time for dreams. To ridicule a dreamer means to inflict a deep resentment on him.
Typically, these children feel good in schools that pay special attention to the development of students’ creative abilities. They need comfort, confidence and as close proximity as possible. Especially in crisis situations.
If this increased need for intimacy is not satisfied, the crisis intensifies. Sensitive individual praise is also important (“How wonderful you did it!”). Stories about resolving any problems in which a child of the same age copes with a similar difficulty also help.
What is typical
He often does not have enough time, because the world is so exciting, full of adventure, tests of courage. Adventurous children need activity – almost around the clock.
Children sometimes throw tantrums: they fall to the floor, bang their hands and feet, destroy everything around. Where does this come from and what to do about it?
It is sometimes said that the hysteria of children is always a reaction to an adult, an answer to the fact that there is something terribly wrong in the relationship between an adult and a child. This is not entirely true, it is some exaggeration of the role of an adult.
A child is a creature not only reacting, not responding to one or another, correct or not, adult behavior. Thank God, children are very active, leading their game and policies towards adults. Continue reading